U r the chief of ur soul

After the repetition of cycles of failure, some will choose to hide frm failure n be a fucking failure himself and some will stand up str8 and stiff n show the fucking failure who is the boss...

Im a great failure, and i knew it, i screwed up my control on self discipline and tat causes me to screwed up my acedemic and others minute stuffs in life... Im an engineer under grad, supposed to graduated and working by now but Im still facing stuffs tat i hate the most, exams due to the below average CGPA i gt throughout the whole tertiary ed, so basically i'm extending another semester to pull tat up and hopefully tis will be the last sem... It's actually kinda feelin bad when all ur frenz started to talk about their workloads, their salary, their expenses, their financial management n stuffs n I will sit there nod and nod and nod and well noddddd... And yea, if u didnt noe, I actually gt terminated for 3 times due to poor acedemic performance, no ppl actually know for the 3rd termination besides my family and i almost got my ass kicked out frm the uni, tat meanz im almost wasting 5 years in uni for ntg, ntg at all, not a single accreditation... Besides, I'd got a mislocation of the jelly-liked structure between the spine and irritating the nerves aka slipped disc which causes me to constantly, i mean constantly feeling the "spine being screwdrived" pain, nevertheless sportless and disabilities in completing several task which needed the strength frm the bak n aso bending, well Im not a sport freak but I do love doing sports and this symptom is a hell to me and tis lasted for 2 years...

The reason I'm telling all these is bcoz a pathetic young soul of my uni in sg long branch campus decided to take away his precious chance of living by himself early in the morning. He jumped off frm the 5th floor of the building, he's oni 19 moreover a high achiever in both spm and stpm... Reason of committing suicide are still in investigation but it was said to be due to his poor socializing network... Well come on dudes out there, is tat the end of the world for u when a obstacle is bothering u? And tat problem hav a fucking solution, u doesnt rely on in to eat or live, y u have the courage to jump of a building knowing tat u will definitely have to suffer a severe muscles bursting, bone fractured kind of pain frm the moment u landed on the groud till the monent u breath out the last breath as compared to stand up str8 and live ur life so tat "Better" would have the chance to knock ur door some other times? Those tat committed suicide no matter for money, relationship, stress or anything, u guyz r pure selfish irrational cruel shit idiots for me, did u ever tot of those ppl tat love u so much? Ur parents? Siblings? Relatives? Frenz? Some ppl r praying all day and hopes tat they would see the sunshine again and u fucking bastard chosen to end ur own life while u r totally capable to live? U r juz too selfish i would say...

Sometimes i wonder, will they regret their act when they approach the ground? When they approaching death? Im sure they will, but by tat time, it's all too late...

Well to be frank I undergo a tertiary ed life which i personally think it is bad n i need slightly more strength to continue my steps, to be frank, when i knew tat the uni decided to terminate my studies and i will hav to start all over frm 0 which will cost me another 3-4 years, i do hav a tiny little tot across my head for a second, i tot of dying, to be frank... But i didnt do it, y? Becoz it need hel lotsa courage and selfishness which u can be so careless for all the love one to choose to end ur life! I would rather continue my life in a simpler and harder way... Seriously peoples, suicide is a stupidest and most selfish way of AVOIDING problems... Dont do it, juz dont...

当运动，甚至连正常地行动都变成了奢侈品时，你就会了解正常人是很多人所奢望的幸福，因为现在的我即使每天面对着许多钻骨般的痛楚，我还是觉得我比世上现在经历着战争，饥荒的人来得幸福很多很多。。。朋友，你今天所放弃的生命，是多少人渴望于奢求生存的明天。。。要惜福，感恩。。。